Take the Trip!

I know life might look different now that you’re no longer the typical husband, wife, 2.5 kids, and a golden retriever.

Maybe taking family vacations feels like something in your rearview mirror. Something you used to do when there were two adults to split the planning, the packing, the driving, and the inevitable “Did you remember the charger?”

But I’m here to tell you: you’re still a family, no matter what number is on the reservation.

You and your kids are a family. You can still take the trip. And if you’re considering a solo vacation while your kids are with their other parent? You’re allowed to have that adventure, too.

I’m done waiting

Trust me, I’ve tried coordinating vacations with my sisters and their families or with a friend. The dates don’t line up. The budgets don’t line up. And agreeing on a destination? That can feel like its own full-time job.

I love traveling with people I care about. But I’ve also missed opportunities while waiting for someone else to be ready.

I’m done waiting. And if you’ve been putting off something you want to do because you don’t have another adult to go with you, maybe you’re ready to be done waiting, too.

Is being the only adult on a trip stressful? Yes.

Do you have to think of everything? Also yes.

Is it incredibly empowering when the plan comes together and you realize, “I did that”?

One hundred percent.

When our family vacations changed

For a while after my divorce, I didn’t take trips that were just me and my son. In my mind, a family vacation needed to include my dad or one of my sisters.

My dad was the planner. The organizer. The person who got the ball rolling, and the rest of us cleared our schedules to join in the memory making.

After he passed away, those family vacations came to a halt.

I missed him. And I missed having that person who brought us all together and made things happen.

But I didn’t want the adventures and the memory making to end. I still wanted my son to have those experiences. I wanted them for myself, too.

So I booked a trip for just the two of us.

We started with road trips a few hours from home, to familiar places. Nothing especially elaborate. But the hotel reservation, the check-in, the packing, the spending money, and getting us there and back were all on me.

I won’t lie. It was stressful.

It was also worth it.

A little farther outside my comfort zone

More recently, we went to New York City.

That was a huge stretch for me. Walking around Manhattan, figuring out the subway, planning our sightseeing, and being the only adult responsible for getting us where we needed to go were all outside my comfort zone.

But every day we were there, I felt a little more confident. And on the way home, I felt so empowered.

I planned that trip. I organized the sightseeing. I figured things out. And I got us home safely, with memories we made together.

And then we took another trip

My son and I just got back from Asheville, North Carolina, where we went to experience fall.

In case you’re new here, I live in South Florida, and I’m a native Floridian. We don’t get much in the way of changing leaves. Even when I went away to college, I only made it as far north as Tallahassee.

A while back, my son mentioned wanting to see the leaves change. And I realized that was something I’d never really experienced, either.

I wanted to give us both that experience. So I booked the trip.

We hiked to waterfalls, drove along the Blue Ridge Parkway, went gem mining, and visited an apple orchard. There was apple picking, a corn maze, and an apple cannon. Plenty of new experiences for both of us.

There was also a very important search for hot chocolate after the orchard didn’t have any. We ended up at Starbucks. Because apparently, even on a mountain adventure, sometimes you still need a familiar stop.

We also got tired. We went back to our Airbnb to relax. We adjusted our plans based on how we were feeling, because making memories doesn’t require running ourselves into the ground.

The trip took planning, money, and energy. But now we have those experiences together. An idea that started with my son saying he wanted to see the leaves change became a trip we actually took.

I’m glad I didn’t keep waiting for someone else’s calendar to line up with ours.

Start with a trip you can manage

Let me be clear: we’re not taking two-week international vacations. Our trips are usually a long weekend to maybe five days. And I started with familiar places only a few hours away.

You don’t have to start with Manhattan and a subway map.

Start with something that fits your budget and feels manageable. A nearby town. A hotel you’ve stayed at before. One night away with one thing you’re excited to do.

Something new, with enough familiarity to help you feel comfortable.

You also don’t have to fill every minute. Give yourself room to rest, change your mind, or figure something out along the way. Being the only adult is a lot. The itinerary can leave room for that.

Once you make that first reservation, check in, and get through the trip, you have something to draw on the next time you feel unsure.

You’ve done this before.

Maybe next time you’ll go a little farther. Stay a little longer. Try something you wouldn’t have considered before.

Or maybe you’ll return to the same place because you both loved it. That counts, too.

You’re still a family

I’m certainly not a travel pro, and I’m far from a travel agent. I’m a single mom doing my best to give my child experiences and build memories for both of us.

I still get nervous. I still have a lot to think about. But I also get to watch my son experience something new and know that I helped make it happen.

Divorce changed what our family looks like. It didn’t take away our ability to have adventures together.

You don’t need a second adult on the reservation for it to be a family vacation.

You’re still a family. There are still memories to make.

Take the trip.